Marriage and Communication

              Intercourse is a very careful subject and one that I am not very comfortable talking about, so I am going to touch very lightly on it and throw some ideas out there about talking about it and teaching it to your kids.

              The first thing is the importance of talking about it to your kids. Of course, it’s up to you what you do, but there are some things to consider. For instance, what happens when your kids become curious or their friends tell them something, but it has never been talked about in the home? They will probably turn to the internet or their friends, both of which are not the best option. The best option is to talk to them yourself, that way you know what they are learning and you are teaching them in the standards you believe – and not what the world believes.

              Alright, that’s all I’m going to say about that because I have not had the experience or knowledge to talk about this… on a lighter subject let’s talk about boundaries in your marriage. Again, I am not an expert nor do I have the experience in this topic but it is what I have observed and studied this last week.

              What do you think about boundaries in your marriage? Do you have them? Are they a concrete wall, a picket fence or no boundaries at all? Do you think they are important? Something that you should consider is how they can affect your marriage. When you have boundaries you clearly know what you should and shouldn’t do – and sometimes it isn’t necessarily for you but for your spouse. For instance, if your spouse is working closely with the opposite gender, and you don’t feel comfortable with them calling them, even if it’s just for work related things, you should talk to your spouse about it. Even if it is just not going to lunch with them, it is whatever you feel you need in your marriage and something both agree with. Not only does this establish a certain safety and trust within the relationship, it also helps grow and deepen your relationship with them.

              Another thing to watch out for is jumping to conclusions. Say your spouse calls that co-worker often. Don’t jump to a serious conclusion or accuse them of something you don’t know is true, because as soon as you tell yourself something your brain will accept it as fact, and it will be harder to get that out of your head when you do. It’s like when you watch a scary movie – how do you sit? For most people, you bring your feet onto the couch. Right? Well why is that? Because a monster is going to grab your feet? What monster? When have you seen a monster, or when has a monster grabbed your feet during a scary movie? They haven’t (or hopefully haven’t) you have just told yourself that it could happen, when in reality there is nothing there.

              In conclusion, be careful of what you tell yourself and remember that communication is key. Talk to your spouse about everything and make sure you understand each other when you do talk to each other.