What is Dating?

              What is dating? This definition has been changed over time, especially over the last 50 years. Not only has the style of dating changed, but the actual action of going on a date is being less prevalent and less common. Where dating used to be considered going on a date, perhaps not with the same person, is now considered old-fashioned. To be “dating” now means that you are exclusive with one person – you are boyfriend and girlfriend. The young people of today, myself included, “hang out” instead of date. Of course, going on a date is not unheard of. It still happens but generally after you have hung out with them a few times to see if you like them, then you go on a date. There are always the exceptions of course, but for the most part hanging out is more commonly seen than dating. I have heard that in the “olden days”, dating was a way to get to know someone. Did you know the average girl in college goes on a date once a year? Once. That doesn’t mean that she isn’t dating, though. Remember – the term dating doesn’t really mean going on dates anymore, but that you are involved seriously with someone. What I have noticed and found interesting, though, is when an older person asks me if I am dating, I know they are asking me if I am going on dates, but if a friend asks me if I am dating, I say no because I’m not in a serious relationship with anyone. The other thing to note, is that just because she doesn’t go on dates doesn’t mean she is not hooking up with anyone. That is actually really common, but it was never termed a date.

              So how do you know if it’s a date? Well, the first thing is paired off. It needs to be clear, obvious, or stated in some way that it is you and your date. For instance, he/she clearly states that you are on a date and each person in the group (if it’s a group date) has a date. This one can be a little hard if some in your group don’t have dates, but he/she should make it clear. The next thing is planned. This one can be more obvious, but it depends on who you are with. They should have a clear plan for the night and have thought of it beforehand. Of course, it just depends on the date. Lastly, it should be paid for. This one is a little more obvious, because you know if they pay for you, BUT it is not always obvious if it is going to be paid for. For example, I was asked by a friend to go on a double date a few weeks ago. I figured he was going to pay since he asked me, but again you can never be sure, so I brought money with me just in case. He did end up paying for me, but it was uncomfortable because I felt that pressure that girls should be able to pay for themselves. You know, that whole feminist thing? I am not necessarily a feminist in that regard, but it was awkward! I think that concept of chivalry is dying out, but that’s a topic for a different day. What were to happen if he didn’t pay for me? He asked me to go out, isn’t it his responsibility? Should I have told him to pay for me? Should I have just paid for myself to save myself from embarrassment?

              How does your dating experience effect your future marriage? Well, lets look at two scenarios. The first scenario is you are a woman, and you are seriously dating this guy, perhaps even engaged. He is a couch potato, and hardly ever moves except maybe to go to work. But as soon as he gets home from work, he is back watching movies or whatever he was doing before. He isn’t always like this but is for the most part. You decide that marriage will change him, and he is just a “fixer-upper” – he will change once he is in the commitment of marriage. Right? The second scenario is a where your future husband is a hard worker and a great person outside of work. He always helps and loves being around you, only watching t.v. to be around you. Which is better? Are they equal? Well… the second scenario is the most realistic. For the most part, men don’t see marriage as a big change. They are expecting marriage and dating to be about the same, whereas women see it as a big changing event. This isn’t always true as there are always exceptions, but it is true for the most part.

              So. Do you think we should keep the culture how it was? Do you think it is okay to let the culture keep changing in the direction it is going? How is this different from what you thought? Is it different from when you were dating, or your culture? Do you see this in your dating life right now?